Good news, sort of


So I went to the podiatrist yesterday. He told me that the node on my foot, was not a node from my arthritis but a bursitis that developed to protect the edge of my foot. He said that when I changed my shoes, I did the best thing I could have done for it. And that is why it has gone down significantly. He told me to do some calf stretches – apparently having flat feet can cause your Achilles tendon to tighten – and keep using the footwear I’m using and my orthotics.

He checked my X-rays since my Rheumatologist had question the pain I had reported having after use. He said that I do have damage to my feet, but unless it is so severe that I am having trouble walking there is nothing to be done surgically. This is something I knew before, but it was good to hear him say I was doing what I needed to and that my pain wasn’t in my head. I feel very vindicated after having an argument with my new Rheumatologist about having pain in my feet – since she said I shouldn’t because she didn’t see any active inflammation. The podiatrist also commented that my joints are still loose and that is a good thing. So overall, he gave me the best news I could expect. Now we’ll see how my Rheumatologist reacts to it next week.

We’ll also see how my vitamin D level is.  I continue to feel very fatigued and wonder if the supplement was helping. I’m anxious to know how my blood work turned out.

I spoke with my husband about my podiatry appointment and it just seemed to make him anxious. Any talk of surgeries gets him worried. I tried to tell him last night that anything the doctors see now is from past disease and that I’m doing very well. I just get frustrated because it is hard enough to deal with my own feelings about this and sometimes I resent feeling as though I need to protect him from it too. I know that isn’t fair, but it is often how I feel. If I’m dealing with it and feel okay about it -why does he feel burdened by it? We talked about this a little and he said basically that he feels what he feels, which I can’t argue with. It is just frustrating. Aren’t I the one who is sick? Shouldnt’ I be the one who needs to be taken care of? But that is the thing with chronic illness. It doesn’t just impact the person with the disease. It is something everyone in the family has to face and manage. I need to be able to step back and remember that. After all, his emotions come from being scared for me because he loves me. And for that, I should be grateful.


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