Sometimes I just want to cry


So over the last week, my feet have gotten more and more sore. I’ve thought it was me working out more, but at the end of the last week I started getting this sharp pain on the side of my foot when I walked. When I got home I realized that I had what looks like a node on my pinkie toe and it hurt like hell. I guess it could be something else, but it appears to be right at the joint of the toe, so that is what I am assuming it was.

Because of the pain, I’ve been taking more pain meds. My other anti-inflammatory stuff just isn’t cutting it. I would say that I put up with a certain amount of pain every day, but this is more achy dull pain. This current pain happens after walking for 5-10 minutes, but it is pretty sharp.

I’m supposed to see my rheumatologist in two weeks, but I didn’t think my meds would last until then, so I called for a refill. Well turns out that even though I met with this doctor in January, since she hasn’t written me a script for hydrocodone before, she wants to see me before she gives me a script. I don’t really understand this since we discussed my current meds when I came in and I’ve had a script for this for like five years now. It just makes me feel like I need to yet again justify how bad I’m doing. And if I knew that this was the policy, I would have asked for a written script for all my meds when I visited instead of waiting until I needed them.

So ultimately, I had to rearrange my schedule to go in and see her on Thursday. It just always feels like one headache after another, and I hate dealing with it when I already feel sick.

So I’m just going to try to think of this as a good thing that the doctor will get to look at my foot now, instead of waiting two weeks. I’m pretty certain I’m going to be told that there is nothing that can be done, but at least I’m doing what I need to to take care of myself.


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