Struggling to stay on track

04Mar09

My legs have been aching the last few days. I always have trouble finding the balance between rest and exercise. I don’t know whether to rest more or push through the soreness. I think doing too much of either will not be good.

The snow has not been good for me. I find myself more tense when I think I might fall. And public transit has been running late, which means that I have to walk up a huge amount of stairs to catch my train in the morning. That is not fun.

I have such a love/hate relationship with public transportation. On the one hand, if I drove every day I would be driving in stop and start traffic for an hour to go ten miles. Not fun and hell on my knees. But on the other, I often have to rush when I take the train and most of the time end up standing for at least part of the trip. A jostling bus or train is not comfortable on the joints. And I guess I’m still pretty annoyed that when I tried to apply for a disability card the transit authority denied me and my doctor told me I was doing too well to be approved. So apparently having fake hips and having trouble standing on a bus isn’t bad enough. I feel like I’m being punished for being able to walk a mile in discomfort instead of not being able to do it at all. I just think that is crap. It just seems like I’m either not healthy enough or not disabled enough.

How can I be both?

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